Large Handed Basketball Girls, Then and Now

Okay, you know me, I really go for female athletes with huge powerful smoothbacked hands. Though I don't keep up on these things, and then I look around and am surprised at what I find. For instance, I was completely unaware of Brittney Griner, who plays center for the Phoenix Mercury in the WNBA.

By the numbers, she stands 6 feet 8 inches tall, weighs 208 pounds, wears men's size 17 shoes, and has larger hands than LeBron James. Her hands are 9.0 inches long. She can dunk a basketball with 300 pounds of force. Whether she's palming a basketball, or doing a hand comparison with 7 foot 2 Kareem Abdul Jabbar, that's a mighty impressive pair of huge smooth strong oversized female athlete hands.

Like some six-foot-umpteen basketball amazons, she's a bit of an odd looker. But those gigantic nine inch hands! I wouldn't turn Brittney down if she offered to clamp her enormous smooth steely-strong athletic hand ultra-tight over my mouth and nose and most of my face... would you? "Mmmmmmhh, hmmmmm mmmm HHHHHMMMMM, mmmm hmmm mmm hhmmmm mmmmmmhh! MMMMMMMHHH!!"

The motif of large handed basketball girls has been around for a long time. Googling around, I ran across a January 1941 article from a small town Texas newspaper. Some traveling girls' basketball team was coming to town to play against the fellows. The All American Red Heads were tall athletic huge-handed redheaded gals, redheaded every single one of them, pretty near undefeated, and according to the headline, the local coach warned the guys "Not to Make the Red Heads Mad"! Here's why:

GENEVIEVE LOVE, center. Home address, Olla, La. Genevieve stands 6 ft. 3 inches, weighs 160 pounds, and is one of the tallest, if not the tallest woman basketball player in America. Coming from the champion Summitt, Miss., Junior college where she was selected on the All State mythical team two years straight. Aggressive, with a genial personality, she palms a basketball in either of her huge hands ala Robert Ripley of Believe It or Not fame.

LILA BLUE, guard or forward. Home address, Slaughters, Ky. Lila is playing her fourth straight season with the Red Heads. Before this she was a star with the Baby Ruths of Chicago and Pure Foods of Cleveland. Lila stands 6 feet tall and weighs 140 pounds... Lila can pick up a basketball in one hand off the floor as though it was a baseball.

HAZEL SMITH, forward. Home address, Guilford, Conn. Hazel stands 6 feet tall, and has always been known as the "Bombing Beauty" of the New England states, weighs 150 pounds. She is the beauty queen of all basketball with her charming beauty. Hazel is playing her third season with the Red Heads... the prettiest athlete in the world. Movie directors of Hollywood have their eyes on Hazel.

VINIA HOBBS. Home address, Byng, Okla. Height 5 ft. 9 inches, weight 145 pounds. Vinia was selected as all state guard at Byng High School when they won the state tournament. She has for two years been a star with the Hill Billies, pretty, husky and clever... She can play plenty of "rough" ball if the men prefer such tactics. Vinia is good, she can take care of herself.

Wow... I mean, wow... "Coach Odus Mitchell has been working his Harvesters overtime on how to keep away from the redheads. 'Don't get rough, and don't get 'em mad,' Coach Mitchell warned his boys."

'Cause if you did get 'em mad, you know, you might suddenly find these tall athletic huge-handed redheaded basketball girls unleashing their secret weapon, grabbing the guys in their strong female athlete arms, and clamping their gigantic strong smooth female athlete hands TIGHT over the boys' mouths... "Mmmmmmhh, mmmm hhhhmmm mmmmhhh!! MMMMMHH!! MMMMHHHH, HMMMMMMHH!!! MMMMMMHHHH!"

Out on the basketball court, all the boys are struggling, writhing, straining to break free from all those flame-haired handsmothering beauties, hot young women in Red Head basketball uniforms, but the girls are too strong for them, and they can't get away, no matter how hard they try!

"Mmmmmmhh, HHMMMMMM!!" One fellow jerks and squirms in the arms of beauteous beaming smiling 6 foot 3 Genevieve Love, his eyes barely peering out above her huge powerful hand clamped like steel over much of his face.

"Mmmmmhh, hmmm mmm hhhmm mmmmh, MMMMMM MMM GG'HHHHHHH!!" Another fellow twists and thrashes in vain to escape the unbreakable steampress-tight smotherhold of strong Lila Blue and her unyielding soft smooth muscular oversized amazon hands.

"MMMMMMHHH! NNN'HHNNN... mmmmh HHHMMMMM!!" A boy reaches up, tugging, prying, straining, unable with all his strength to pull the gigantic smooth hands of Hollywood-beautiful Hazel Smith away from their smother-handlock over his mouth and nose.

"Mmmhhh... mmmmhh... Hhmmmmmhh, mmmm MMMMHH! Mmmm MMHHHH! Mmmm MMMMHHHH!!" Another boy, mute and blind and unable to breathe, is pawing blindly, frantically, at the huge tightsqueezed facemask of Vinia Hobbs' enormous smoothbacked female athlete hands completely covering his entire face in her powerful vise-tight grip. She has one hand over his mouth and nose, her other hand over his eyes and forehead. He played "rough" ball with her, but this girl can take care of herself, and how!

All of the Red Heads -- the entire team of tall strong statuesque large-handed carrot-top girls -- are subjecting the groaning struggling mmmmphing boys to unbreakable smother-mouthholds, out there on the floor of the gymnasium in Pampa, Texas... January 1941... This is the dreaded secret of the All American Red Heads girls' basketball team, and why they are never defeated...